I have a terrible memory. I do. That’s why I take so many pictures. That’s why I blog. I sat down tonight with the idea to “break the rules” and bore my readers (or myself) with an incredibly long, disorganized blog catching you up on all the topics I have on my list — all the races I’ve done, all the things I’ve experienced, moving, Virginia, new sports, new friends — everything. I’d hoped it would make “blogging” less of a daunting task. Then, I opened up my Escape from Ft. Desoto blog and started going over the notes. But the adrenaline wasn’t fresh. I know how the rest of my season went. I’d forgotten what some of the notes meant, and it made me sad. So, I opened the St. Anthony’s blog. I remembered more about it, but my first 5150 (and the triumphs of that day) has long since passed. Gone are some of those memories too.
And that’s why I blog. That’s why I take so many pictures. That’s why I share so much all over Facebook. I want to remember. I like re-reading things to relive emotions, moments frozen in time. Silly self-indulgence: I re-read my Facebook statuses and blogs pretty frequently. I even re-read some of my old blogs on Livejournal.
And now I feel like I’ve lost something. I know it’s silly, but I no longer feel like writing today. Not about old races, or new. Not about victories, or defeats. Not about new adventures or goals.
Today, I’m just sad that I lost those memories.
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When I was high school, dreaming of living in New York City, part of the dream entailed finding a “rent-controlled” apartment in the middle of Manhattan. (Hey, I aspired to be a journalist. I knew I would never be able to rent an apartment like that on my salary.)
At that age, my understanding of rent control was very limited. From my exposure to the concept via “Sex and the City” and other TV shows, I thought rent control was being “grandfathered in” — much like Florida home-owners are locked into the (maximum) amount of property taxes they are required to pay.
Ten years later and rent-controlled properties turn out to be the bane of my existence. A significant portion of Washington D.C. is rent-controlled — what they actually call “tax properties.” Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for supporting those in need. My major complaint is that none of these properties advertise their status. Why waste my time? Further, I really thought I would find an affordable apartment prior to actually commencing on my search. My research online was very misleading.
In Florida, people often say you can’t find a decent apartment for less than $X — depends on what kind of apartment you’re looking for and where, obviously. I’ve always prided myself on finding the diamonds in the rough. I am a pro at finding kick-ass apartments for very affordable prices.
Well, after four days of apartment-hunting in the District and being told that I “do not qualify” (let me tell you how much that phrases pisses me off — I worked so hard to be in this salary range so that I’d never hear the phrase again), I can confidently say that there is no affordable housing in the area unless you make less than $62,000 combined. I include the qualifier “combined” because Matt does plan to join me here.
In the end, I was thrilled to find a 770 square foot apartment for $1375. I’m not unhappy. I love the apartment, the amenities, the location, the proximity to work and play. But I’ll be significantly happier when Matt gets up here — for a plethora of reasons. I’m glad I can afford it, but I would have been happier in the range that I found online.
So, if you’re thinking about moving to the District, just know that it’s going to cost you. Everyone will tell you that. What I’m telling you is there are no deals — even for the incredibly diligent and crafty.
Please note: It’s worth it to commute if you want a yard, pool, and/or garage. Public transit’s pretty good from Alexandria and west of 395 so long as you don’t travel to NW DC. Matt and I may look in those areas when he moves up.
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I’ll be honest. Writing in this blog has become a daunting task for me. I’m not really sure why. Maybe because I am generally worn out. Maybe because I have a list of excuses. Maybe because none of them are good enough. Caitlin wrote recently (and she said this too, “I don’t feel like citing”) that she had this fantastic plan for productivity while her husband was out of town, but she ended up watching TV. Well, that’s me.
Except I’ve been watching TV in Arlington, VA, in my new apartment, when I’m not working at my new job at EMSolutions. I love them, by the way. And Virginia, despite trying to piss me off sometimes, is generally amazing too.
I haven’t been running. I haven’t been training, really, at all. I have gained roughly 8-10 pounds. That wouldn’t be such a big deal to me, except I didn’t gain it slowly. In fact, I thought I was invincible for the first 6-8 weeks that I was off my weight management program. Also, I feel like shit. My performance in Top Gun was the polar opposite from that of Escape and St. A’s (I’ll link those later. I’m too lazy to open Escape and I haven’t even written St. A’s. Oh my god, just wait for St. A’s!) Finally, I’m at the peak fit of my clothes and I refuse to go up a size. As Jen, A Prior Fat Girl wrote about her recent gain and pursuit to lose it, it may just be 9 pounds, but that’s the kind of thinking that made me overweight. It’s a flag, a warning.
Time to buckle down. Blog, training, nutrition, and all my other to-dos.
Not that this post really had a point. It’s not any of the 30 posts on my daunting to-do list. But if I’ve ever learned anything, it’s that the only way to finish something is to start it.
I suppose the point is: I’m alive. I’m not perfect. I live in DC, now. My job’s pretty grand. We’ll get to the “I miss Florida, but Virginia has its perks” posts later.
Posted in Uncategorized
I think about writing every day. I really do. My Google task list of blog topics grows longer and longer. I keep “scheduling” time to write the first post back. But I’ve been a very busy girl. Hell, I’m at a point where I was waiting to write my “return” post after I started my new job. [Um, What did you say, Kat?]
But I received a comment from JP today, asking where I was, and I thought maybe it was time I stopped slacking.
So where have I been? I’ll be brief, since I plan to write about most of this.
Basically, I’ve been getting my head on straight. I did tell you, “I’m not okay” last time I wrote. Well, I’m okay now. In fact, I’m great. [Wasn't that the goal, anyway?]
Can I ask a question? Can I get a raise of hands of people I don’t know/don’t see regularly who read this thing? I didn’t think anyone really did. It got to the point where I was wondering, “Who cares?” (Well, JP does! Thanks, JP!) I mean, ultimately, I do this for me. I have a terrible memory and I’m very reflective in nature, so I love to pour myself out on a keyboard. But does this really matter to anyone else? It’s okay. You can be honest. I wouldn’t stop writing just because you don’t like reading it. It’s a free country and you won’t break my heart.
But often, I find myself guilty for not keeping promises to you – yeah, you – and for blogging infrequently sometimes. Because I know I hate that crap. So I just wanted to know if anyone really cares.
Oh, one more thing. I have a feeling this blog theme is going to change again soon. I’ve been fluctuating around 145 for six weeks now. It’s not my goal weight, but I’m happy. Who wants to hear +0.2/-0.4 all the time, anyway? Don’t worry. I’m not abandoning you – or myself for that matter. I’m just in a much better place now and have far more to focus on. If I struggle, you’ll still hear it. If I have a victory, you can still be encouraged. I just don’t think my blog is going to be engulfed with it anymore.
Foreshadowing: more topics about traveling, perhaps regarding “uprooting” oneself.
KEEP ON KEEPIN’ ON.
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I should probably tell you where I’ve been. Mostly, I’ve been tri training, not getting enough sleep, not drinking enough water, and having issues in my personal life. I’ve got lots of good posts for you, but I don’t have the time, energy, or emotional strength right now.
To come:
- Escape from Ft. Desoto Triathlon race report
- Nike+ review
- Balancing tri training with weight loss
- Dehydration/heat stroke
- Dehydration = bad decisions = weight gains (probably about 2 pounds in 3 weeks)
I’m not going to talk about certain aspects of my life on here. Suffice it to say that I’m really struggling right now and I’m going to curl up and take a nap instead of write any of those posts. I know I get really frustrated when the bloggers I follow don’t update. I’m not really sure if I actually have followers, but if you’re a lurker, I’m sorry. I promise to overwhelm you with posts as soon as I get my head on straight. Hopefully by St. Anthony’s (May 1), definitely by Bike MS (May 16-17).
I hope everyone else is having a happy, healthy Easter weekend.
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You’ll have to excuse me if this one is all over the place – I just got back from a run and I had a lot of things I wanted to share.
So who am I? I’ve been asking myself that a lot lately. And I found myself wondering just that again during my run tonight. I left Matt’s house, took the right out toward my short course, ran from one end of the last street down to the other end and back. It’s about a 2 mile course.
I decided to take it easy tonight because I spent part of the evening tweaking the bike – she saw sunlight for the first time since Top Gun. And the truth is, I was hungover. (Another story. Another time.) But as I finished out the “out” and started on my “back” (You know – “out and back route” - I thought it was cute), I noticed something.
I felt really strong. I was breathing easy. I had set myself a good pace. I didn’t feel the need to walk a single step. I wasn’t checking my iPod Touch every five seconds. I wasn’t flipping through songs trying to find the energy to push. I was just running.
So I considered running a bit farther – passing Matt’s street and heading out on the longer route. At first, I thought it was a bad idea. I didn’t want to get out there and wear myself out. (I’m going to do a 6-miler with a running group tomorrow.) I thought of every reason not to do it. But instead, I found that I really wanted to continue running. And that was my moment: “Who am I?”
So I got to thinking about it. Well, Kat. Who are you? You’re a girl that’s never really liked running. You’re a techie obsessed with gadgets. You’ve lost 40 pounds. You skipped your swim last night to make friends with your new volleyball team. But here you are today, feeling strong, healthy, knowing you can’t be perfect but somehow you’ll get back on track. Somehow, this time, it’s different.
Today, I didn’t feel the need to be “fast” to feel strong. I wasn’t worried about my Newtons or my Nike+ or my form. I was just a girl. Running.
My thoughts trailed off to a post (among other things) that my friend Caitlin wrote – this incredibly powerful and deeply personal post about how running has changed her life.
I thought about how much Caitlin inspires me – as a journalist, as a deeply personal and horrifically honest zinester, as a runner, as a friend. As someone knowledgeable. Someone patient. She’s just an incredible person to have in your corner and she’s inspired me in more ways than she probably realizes. I really wanted you guys to find her – because she puts words to feelings that I haven’t even really even figured out yet. And because she needs to know how fucking incredible she is as a runner, writer, feminist, survivor (“I’m a bitch, I’m a lover, I’m a child, I’m a mother” – whoa, sorry – a.d.d. just kicked in.)
I got to thinking about her transformation. And mine. I realized how strong (yes, I keep saying that) and proud and sexy I felt. Like a “cheetah in human form” as Caitlin wrote.
My mind also flitted off to JP. I remembered how fucking hard it was to do this. I remember reading and being inspired and wanting to go out and just run a marathon. I remember reading and thinking somehow I could. Then I would get out there – faced with shin splints and depleted oxygen and exhaustion and I would just want to quit. I wanted to spit in my own face for being so pathetic.
Until today. I’ve been glimpsing this feeling – this “runners high” or whatever you call it. But today I grasped it – grabbed a hold of it, wrung my little fingers around its neck, and sat on top of it refusing to let it escape.
I would never let this feeling go. If you could only feel this. This is unexplainable.
I saw a sign on Kennedy (after eating a guilty meal) that said “nothing tastes as good as being thin.” And you know what – it’s true. Really. Truly. I feel so good. I mean, I still look in the mirror and find flaws. Plenty. Ridiculous amounts. But the difference is I don’t feel beat to death when I’m playing sports. I no longer feel like this is “just some torturous drudgery I [do] so I [can] stay healthy.” I am confident and casual and happy – even though I am not perfect.
Oh, and I rode my bike today too. That was the other thing. Not far. Not fast. Hell, it took me forever to realize that I wasn’t comfortable “sitting up” anymore. My belly is gone. My back wants to stay flat. I rested my arms on the handle bar (you know, the middle) as if I had tri bars. I felt like I could peddle for days, but I was racing the sunset.
But back to this post.
I wanted to tell you, whoever you are – the lurkers, the link-clickers, the stumble-upons, my friends, the person who hasn’t started their journey, the person who has failed and is looking for inspiration, the person who has lost himself/herself, the person who thinks it’s hopeless, the person who doesn’t know how good this feels – do it. Get off your fucking couch and do it. Do it over and over and over again. It sucks. It takes forever. But when you get here – and I’m not talking about weight anymore – you will never, ever go back.
And I wanted to shout out to JP, because of the Prior Fat Family (who I love dearly and read religiously) you are the most attentive and involved person in my journey. You take the time to read my comments, respond, and even comment over on my side occasionally. I don’t claim to be as well-written or organized or inspiring as these girls – and I know they are busy, busy, busy – but it’s nice to reach out and have the hand reach back.
So I wanted to shout you out JP. I wanted to tell you: you can rock this.
[EDIT]
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I know, you guys just love these.
To be honest, I must not have been a good little note-taker because I can’t find a Google task for this topic. But right after I posted my most recent confession post, I read the AntiJared’s original post that sparked all this blog-heaviness.
But I was surprised to find that AntiJared didn’t post a sob story. (I mean, I don’t know the guy, but if you saw the page and read my post and others, you would understand why.)
His post was positive, a motivator. I won’t even begin to quote it because there is just too much goodness to share! Seriously, just read it. Come on – “new tab” style – then you don’t feel all a.d.d.
Immediately after I read it, I felt stupid. On one hand, I need to address my insecurities and mental burdens from this whole journey. On the other, I need to look to the positive. I did this to feel better. To be healthy – both physically and mentally. I need to recognize my demons but give them no power, no validity.
First, this meant “buck up” – which is really what the AntiJared’s post is all about. Don’t be afraid to be tough on yourself, to hold high expectations, and then to want more.
I also decided I needed to contribute a positive confession to the Body Confessions website. Both for myself and for others. There were so many sob stories and words of discouragement on the website. I know we’ve all got our things -things we can’t even say to anyone else for fear they just can’t understand. But we also need to sing our guilty little praises. We need to encourage each other. We need to show that there is light and health at the end of the mud-encrusted tunnel!
So, as the little slack-ass you all know that I am, I took forever to actually go back and do this. (I had already posted so much that day and I was preparing for Miami.)
Here is my contribution from today: I had a sad confession before because I was struggling with the other things I’ve endured because of my weight, but you know what, I’m almost down to my high school weight – I’m not nearly as muscular, not nearly as “thin” at this weight, not perfect, yet I can’t help but look at myself and say, “Damn, I look awesome. I’m so proud of myself. I feel fantastic.” I walk a little bit taller, respect myself more, and I don’t let other people’s baggage become mine. I look fucking fantastic.
Also note: I noticed many others must have felt the same way. That or AntiJared is the man – also possible. There were so many words of pride and encouragement on that site today. Good for us – every single one of us.
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged antijared, body confessions, confessions, dr. scudder, positive, weight loss, weight management
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Weight: 146.6 (-2.0)
BMI: 23.7 (-0.3)
Five month total: -42.2
So, that means that I’m right near or at my high school weight. However, I told my mom last night: I’m the girl I used to make fun of. I would say, “So what you wear a size 1 or 0? Your body is soft. You jiggle!”
It’s time for me to get my muscles back!
Fortunately, if you look at my event page, I have a lot of races coming up. I feel so much stronger as a runner, though I’m still not very quick. Time to start smashing those weights!
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Weight: 148.6 (-2.0)
BMI: 24.0 (-0.3)
As I get closer and closer to my goal weight, I’m learning that weight gain and weight loss doesn’t just affect us physically. It affects us mentally. It changes us. Our values. The way we view the world. It changes the way we behave. It changes the way we feel about ourselves.
As I get closer, I’ve realized that losing the weight isn’t going to be enough – though, trust me, it’s plenty. I have to work out my mental ticks that got me here. Lately, I’ve been pouring my soul out in an attempt to recognize my issues and resolve them.
Confession Part 1
Last week, Elle wrote a post describing her strategy for resisting particularly tempting foods. (Actually, she wrote five posts about her strategies for weight loss.) Essentially, she tries to think of 10 things she wants more than the food that is plaguing her appetite.
I think this is brilliant – since I’m really close to my goal weight and I’ve been struggling with my focus. So, I really wanted to share my own 10 things I want more than __________.
1. To get to my goal weight before Matt does.
2. To look like the girls at Caddy’s. (Dammit, I gave a future post topic away!)
3. To prevent future cravings – stay in control.
4. To have abs again.
5. To run easy.
6. To run without walking.
7. To wear that polka dot bikini.
8. To get to the “maintenance” phase.
9. To take an “after” picture.
10. To wear a size 6 in my work pants. (I wrote this a bit ago. So, check!)
Confession Part 2
(I had such a witty opener planned for this: Oh, you don’t know Jack Sh*t?)
I submitted a Why I Do This Here (WIDTH) photo to Jack Sh*t, Getting Fit. It hasn’t been posted yet, but it should be soon. I was really shocked at my own pain associated with this entire weight loss journey. (Well, maybe not.) I guess the thing about getting down here is that you realize what you endured up there.
In some ways, I feel strong when I read those note cards. Other times, they make me feel so weak.
Confession Part 3
And the reason I decided to up and post this. Today, JP introduced me to this body confession page. Wouldn’t you know I participated.
My body confession? When I was younger, I never had to work at being “thin.” I was very athletic and competitive. I don’t know if I lost that from growing up or if I lost the courage, but I worry that I’ll never be that way again. I worry that I will do all this work and it won’t be sustainable. As a young woman, hard-bodied and muscular, I didn’t have a care in the world. I never stepped on a scale, my BMI was severely skewed (abs, but you think I’m “almost” overweight?), and I didn’t care what my pant size was as long as they looked good. I honestly believed that the number didn’t matter. Now, the number on the scale, on my pants, runs my life. I’m afraid I’ll never stop obsessing. I’m afraid I’m never going to be that confident girl again because I didn’t get this way from the weight gain.
By the way, JP, I love your concept of BMI. How true. Clearly, I’m struggling with that right now.
Sorry for being a little on the serious/whiny/depressing side today. Who knows why? I was actually feeling pretty awesome in my work pants – off for a fantastic weekend of “me” time.
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged body confessions, insecurities, prior fat girl, prior fat guy, weight loss, weight management
I swear, I’m not trying to be an over-poster. But I find that when I wait to write posts, they lose their flavor. Then again, I don’t have all too many followers anyway!
I was so excited to write you all and tell you that I’m in the 140s today. But I’m not. I didn’t gain, but I didn’t lose. And I’m okay with that.
Weight: 150.6 (-0)
BMI: 24.3 (The same, too, duh)
Fat percentage: Is down! (I don’t recall. So shoot me.)
Instead, I had a non-scale victory, tonight! I finally replaced my work pants, again. As you know, the 10s were getting a bit big.
Oh yeah, baby!
My new work pants and my $4 shirt for Ultra Music Festival in Miami (8 days!)
Being honest about the fit - even when I don't really want to!
I’m also happy to say that I’m no longer afraid to size down or display “tight-fitting” clothes. Because I’ll get there. And I’m finally recognizing how far I’ve come. I’m finally comfortable in my own skin.
Because I’m officially wearing size 6!
Okay, okay. So they are George. From Walmart. You know, fat girl world. (No offense, but you must know the sizes are crazy! Even I know they are crazy!) But none-the-less, I’ll take it!
For comparison, I fit snugly into Refuge (discontinued Charlotte Russe) and Bullhead (rare Pac Sun) 9s. There’s no escaping that these low-rise, skinny-legged pants probably run a little small on everyone, anyway. (Hey, a girl can dream.)
But I don’t care. I’m so smug. I can’t stop smiling.
You know, I’ve never been the type to let stereotypes or rules or obstacles stand in my way. But I’ve been thinking.
I was talking to my mom the other day, on the phone. (One of our hour-long “I need my momma in my life” calls.) And I told her that I was really close to the weight I was in high school, but that my goal is about 10 pounds less because my fat percentage is higher this time.
I told her it was because I was such a hard ass in high school – because I was pure lean muscle.
I told her that wasn’t me anymore. I told her that I was never going to be that athletic or competitive or disciplined because I am growing up. I don’t have the time, energy, or the outlet (one day, I will write about the “adult” phenomena – whereby we don’t “condition” or “train” or “practice” for sports.)
But when I got off the phone, when I thought about a topic that’s on my to-do list (Spring Break & the motivation for abs), and while I was running last night – racing my Touch, feeling the music, not focusing on each and every step I was taking – I realized something.
Why not?
Why can’t I be just as athletic and hard-bodied and active? Why can’t I find someone who will play softball in the “triangle”? Or bump a volleyball in the front yard? Or Rollerblade to the local convenience store? Or play football at the beach? Or act like we’re kids again and play manhunt in the dark (Hey, if I can do it when I’m 18, why not when I’m 25?)
My old house and "the triangle"
Well, I can.
And further, even without all those extracurricular activities that I’m used to – Kat! You’re a triathlete! If you’re really going to do an Olympic this year, if you’re goal to peel minutes off your 5k, if your goal is to do a half-Ironman in 2012 then a full Ironman during 2012-2013, then why wouldn’t you be hard-bodied? Why wouldn’t you have abs? Why wouldn’t you be pure muscle again?
It’s been said that when you think you can do something, you can. And when you think you can’t, the same applies.
I can be as – if not more – hard-bodied as I was in high school. I have the motivation, the dedication, and the resources. If I am willing to train like a triathlete (no more Namby Pamby Land for me), then I will look like a triathlete.
And that, my dears, is the end of that.
Can you believe I skipped the pool today because I wanted to go for a run? Even after I ran a couple miles last night? Who am I? (If you’re just tuning in, I am not a runner. I’m not good at it. I’ve never really enjoyed it.)
I guess I’m someone who lost 40 pounds, registered for a ton of races, and invested in these:
Women's Performance Trainers: Motus (MSRP $175)
I. Love. These. Shoes.
There’s simply no other way for me to say it. After my fourth run on them this evening, I can say that they’ve completely changed me as an athlete. My form has improved substantially. Running feels “easy” – the way you see some runners glide across the pavement as if their feet aren’t even touching the ground. (Don’t get me wrong. I’m not delusional enough to think that I run like that. But maybe I will one day.) Most importantly, I can breathe.
If you haven’t watched the videos, I really liked these two. There are other videos that talk about injury prevention, training, good running technique – almost anything you could be interested in as a runner. The website also outlines their concept of Land-Lever-Lift.
But their ultimate selling point for me? Word-of-mouth. Every runner I know that owns a pair loves them, swears by them, cannot be parted from them. My friend, Cesar, in particular, cut 2 minutes off his miles.
I can now say, with confidence that they helped me do the same. Think it’s because of my weight loss? Maybe. My training? Certainly not. I didn’t train a drop before Gasparilla.
Besides, they say to run only a couples miles at a time in the beginning, to get acclimated to the shoes before any long runs. I bought these at the Gasparilla expo, leaving me no time to train in them before the race. So, I ran on my Asics. I thought that running another half marathon at my new weight would give me the most accurate assessment of the Newtons.
And you know what? No more 15-minute miles for this girl!
Do I think they work for everyone?
In a word: no. Any runner with good form and a forefront strike probably won’t see much of a change to their times. But I haven’t met any forefront strikers that have purchased Newtons, so I can’t speculate on whether or not they would be more comfortable or natural for forefront strikers. You tell me.
Do I think they are the only option to encourage forefront striking? No. But they are the first ones I tried. Plus, I like the concept of the Newtons – that the energy is redistributed to propel you off the ground. Could be horse shit, but when I sprinted against Matt the other night I felt like my feet were on a trampoline – that’s the closest I can come to describing that sensation. (Holy quick feet, Batman.)
Now, I know shoes are a very personal and incredibly important decision for runners. But if you ask me – which I assume you have since you’ve found this entry and read this far – these. shoes. rock.
And now, I leave you with this:
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged endurance, forefront striking, newton running, newton running shoes, Running, running shoes
I’ll admit it. I delayed telling you about my results from Week 16 because I was upset. I was embarrassed. How do you run a half marathon and only lose half a pound? (I still haven’t really figured that out.)
After we crossed the finish
Week 16
Weight: 154.2 (-0.6)
BMI: 24.9 (-0.1)
But I guess that kicked my butt in gear.
Excited to be excited for the beach!
Week 17
Weight: 150.6 (-3.6)
BMI: 24.3 (-0.6)
Four Month Totals
Pounds Lost: 34.6 (38.2 after week 17!)
BMI: -5.6
I swear, I’ll come back and add a slide show… that, or you can find it in the margin soon enough!
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged 40 pounds, dr. scudder, four month results, ketosis, low-calorie, low-carb, weight loss, weight management
I’ve been waiting to write this one for a while. Mostly, I’ve been busy or had time-sensitive topics to post or I didn’t feel like hunting down the posts for you. (I’ve learned, now, that I need to send myself links because I’m not always timely in my posting.)
It’s no secret that weight loss is not easy. If it was, there would be no fad diets, no workout DVDs, no weight loss supplements, no sugar-free or low-carb foods. There would be no blogs.
Sometimes, we feel hopeless. Sometimes, we don’t think it’s fair. Sometimes, we don’t have the time or energy to view everything through “weight loss” goggles. Many of us would give anything to go one day without analyzing the food we eat, the exercise we’ve done, the number on the scale, the number on the tag of our pants. Unfortunately, weight loss and healthy living is a full time job. It’s a tough, rewarding, constant battle filled with successes, failures, tears of sorrow, tears of joy, mistakes, forgiveness, and lots and lots of discipline.
I was reading through some of Elle‘s old entries and she said, “If weight loss were just counting calories and going to the gym, it would be a little easier to accomplish. But it isn’t. It is constant mental gymnastics. It is a constant waging war in your mind.”(Read more.)
And she’s right. That’s why we write. That’s why we comment. That’s why we all seem to hit the same nails on the head. Every story of success is another motivation for more stories of success.
But “success” in our community can be strange. Sometimes, success comes from our failures. Sometimes, success means educating yourself (oh boy, the things you don’t know about food!) Sometimes, success means that we have to stop pouting on the floor, trying to cry away the pounds. (Anybody know how many calories crying burns?) Sometimes it means getting your butt to the gym even if you only run for a mile.
Sometimes, success means that we have to do some pretty ridiculous things.
My idea for this post started when I read Jen’s post about Doritos. I laughed out loud when I read that she tossed the chips on top of a cupboard she couldn’t reach. I thought of another post I read (sorry, I lost this one) about a girl who flushed Doritos down her toilet when the cupboard wasn’t enough to stop her.
I thought of when I started this journey. I thought about all the ridiculous things we endure to be skinny healthy. I thought of driving down the road, mindlessly unwrapping a piece of chocolate truffle, staring at it, contemplating it. I thought about how I quickly popped the truffle in mouth, once decided, and began slowly chewing away. I remembered the sheer panic I felt when I decided it wasn’t worth it. I remember rolling down the window. I remember spitting a giant chocolately mess out my window and laughing (out loud) at myself.
I just spit out a piece of chocolate. I just spit a piece of chocolate out of my car. What would anyone think if they saw this?
That’s not the only time I’ve laughed at myself. After I enjoyed my planned cheats at the Strawberry Festival, I brought the cotton candy home and left it on Matt’s mom’s stove. I do this pretty often. That’s usually her cue to eat or distribute the food.
Planned Cheat: Krispy Kreme Donut Cheeseburger (Matt and I saw one of these on Food Network a long time ago. We'd been dying to try one. So we - all 4 of us - split one!)
Well, Monday, I found the cotton candy back in Matt’s room, sitting on his computer chair. I was already having a severe sugar craving. I told Matt, “This shouldn’t be in here.” And I didn’t contemplate it very long before I opened it up and started peeling thin strips of spun sugar out of the bag.
Matt’s Mom (MM) walked into the room.
Me: MM, I put this out there for you all.
MM: Oh, well, I wasn’t sure. You sure you don’t want it? It’s still soft.
Me: Nope, I don’t. It’s all yours. (As I shovel thin strips into my mouth, gesturing wildly for her to take the bag that’s hanging in my other hand)
MM: (She grins) Well, how about if we just put it here (setting the bag on top of Matt’s dresser…. which is only 5 feet tall)
Me: No, I don’t think that’s a good idea! (Gesturing with the bag, again)
And with that, the bag of cotton candy was removed. Out of sight, out of mind.
My Dad was a bit more supportive.
I remember the first real temptation I had at my house. You see, my dad is a snacker. Most of the snacks don’t call to me. Unfortunately, in December, Little Debbie Christmas Cakes got to me.
Me: Oh no, Dad. Why did you have to buy these? These are the best.
Dad: Well…
(I stare longingly into the pantry, hands on each door knob, prepared to slam it closed at any moment, contemplating)
(A minute later) Me: Dad?
Dad: Yes, dear.
Me: Will you split one of these with me?
Dad: Sure.
(I scamper off to grab my camera phone to document my indulgence. I come back with my phone in hand, opened to the camera application, ready to shoot)
What I found was this:
~ 1" x 2" remaining
Me: What the! Dad, this is not half!
Dad: (smiles, shrugs) Oh well.
Me: (laughing) You really do love me.
My point is: we all endure some pretty crazy tactics to be healthy. Thankfully, we can laugh at ourselves.
Do you have a story about something ridiculous you have done in your journey to be healthy?
I apologize that this is much overdue – I was waiting until all my pictures were ready before I wrote this post.
Expo
The Gasparilla Expo is by far one of my favorites of the year. Lots of vendors and lots of deals. I really wish I’d had more time to spend at this one – I had a few things I wanted to research, price, or buy. Unfortunately, it was an inconvenient time to take a half day at work, so I took a long lunch instead.
However, I was determined to get myself a pair of Newton’s. So I went in armed with the right questions, had a professional analyze my gait, and found a pair of shoes that suited my needs. In the process, I roped my coworker into a pair. (It wasn’t my fault!) In the end, I don’t feel guilty. I think she likes them! And we got a great deal at the expo.
More about these in another post!
Packet Pickup
Was a complete breeze. Well-organized, plenty of volunteers – quick and painless.
Parking
I’m surprised to say this was a complete breeze, as well. There were plenty of participants (25,954 registered this year) but Channelside is certainly equipped to handle it.
Weather
Perfect – for this little Florida runner, at least. Low 60s in the morning, low 70s by the time we crossed the finish, into the 80s that afternoon. No humidity. No rain. Just good running weather. (I’m afraid the 8k and Mich Ultra runners didn’t have it as good with their 9 a.m. start.)
Course
Flat, fast, beautiful. What else can you say about Davis Island and Bayshore, really?
Photography
I was pretty happy with MarathonFoto. They covered the course pretty well. And obviously you can’t do much on the race course if someone isn’t displaying their bib or if someone runs in front of your shot. But at the finish, if there was any doubt they would be able to read your bib later, they took a follow-up photo for clarity and insurance. They asked us to move our medals, articles of clothing,whatever. I thanked them for their diligence.
They posted the pictures pretty quickly. I liked the status header stating how many pictures they’d uploaded and how many had been identified. They also informed customers when they were sorting through partials, and quickly added photos I identified to my folio.
I didn’t mind ordering from them – even though $70 is still way too expensive for the 5 photos I really wanted.
Post Race
Columbia provided the post race food – 1905 salad, rice & beans, paella, and Cuban bread. Great job by Susan Harmeling on this one.
Om nom nom
My Race Breakdown
I know what you’re thinking. “Kat, you suck at running. You hate running. What were you thinking doing another half marathon?!” And you know what, you’re right. Unfortunately, to be a triathlete, you have to run.
Do you have to run 13.1 miles? That’s arguable.
Originally, I registered for the 15k (9.3 miles). Challenging, but not too challenging for my first race this season. And it was only half the price of the Half Marathon. But as I read through the descriptions of the courses, post race food, shirt, and medal, I started thinking about the half.
Was is worth another $30 and a start time of 6 a.m. for a Nike Drifit shirt? Maybe. How about food from Columbia? If I was hungry.
The shirt ended up being pretty awesome
But my final decision to register for the Gasparilla Half rather than the 15k was based on the fact that the 5k and 15k shared a medal. I know it shouldn’t matter, but to me, after running 9.3 miles, I didn’t want to share a medal with those that ran three.
So, I emailed them and upgraded to the Half.
Soon after, I found out that Matt’s coworkers, John and Charleigh, were getting married on February 26. The day (night) before the Half. And it was open bar. Needless to say, I struggled. Not for lack of drinking (I had one delicious glass of Sangria), but for lack of sleeping.
You see, in order to race in Tampa at 6 a.m., you have to wake up in St. Pete around 4:30 a.m. And that’s if you’re quick, like us. (Don’t forget, you need to drive, and park, and eat, and use the restroom, and find your friends, and stretch, and warm up, and make any adjustments, and get to the start.)
So, of course, we don’t leave the wedding at any sort of reasonable hour for two people (actually, three if you include Cesar) who plan to wake up at 4:30 to run a half marathon. Okay, so 9:45 p.m. seems pretty reasonable. But it was a 40-45 minute drive home, then time to shower, think of and locate everything I may need for race day, lay everything out, hydrate, then finally sleep.
So, five hours of sleep later and I’m ready to do this thing. I’m not happy about my lack of sleep. I know how long a half marathon is after Nike Women’s.
Parking was easy, as you read. We didn’t have to walk far. I stretched while Matt used one of the clean restrooms in the Convention Center (another perk of Gasparilla.)
Then we walked down to Publix, met Matt’s coworkers, and walked over to the start. Start was on time, people moved pretty freely, and we crossed the starting line 5 minutes after the “gun.”
A little side note here: I know I promised not to speak for Matt, but this is relevant to my race report. Matt is a runner. He may not think of himself as one, but he is. He did cross country. He has good form. He runs light and easy, breathes even easier. He can control his heart rate. He can manage long distances. Even when he doesn’t train.
Well, neither of us trained. But clearly, I should have.
So, after all his worry and insecurity that I would leave him behind, that he shouldn’t race, that he wouldn’t finish… yep, he still dragged me along. I kept telling him it would happen.
Don’t get me wrong, he slowed down some, but he still pulled me along at a pace that was too quick for me. Well, maybe not too quick. Let’s call it “demanding” but I managed to keep up. It was probably better for me, in the end.
Matt likes to run a little bit faster and a little bit longer than my lungs are happy with, but then he likes to walk a little bit further than I would like to when he rests. I know his way is more efficient. He’s proven it time and time again with his course times. (Think about it, what’s the point in exerting the energy to run if you’re not moving quick enough to justify putting out that much energy?)
But I like control and predictability in my runs. If I’m going to walk at all, I plan for it. That way I can push through. I plan my intervals and adjust them as needed. That way, I hope, I can avoid shooting my wad early in the race. Not to mention, if you allow yourself to stop for too long, you suddenly realize that stopping is an option. Every muscle and joint screams at you never to start back up.
But to my surprise, the sun came up, we rounded mile 5, climbed over the bridge, and started down Bayshore Boulevard. Mile 7, the boys were still hanging strong – albeit rather irregular. Around Mile 8, we realized we lost our pace.
It only got worse from there. The boys were wearing me out. They were wearing themselves out. I stopped to enjoy the sprinklers each time we passed a set.
Matt took off running when he noticed the photographers.
And I died laughing
Around Mile 10, I hit a wall. So did Matt. We probably would have walked the rest of the damn thing if it wasn’t for my 3:00 goal and Matt’s tough guy, kill-himself attitude. (I swear, Matt is a machine.)
So, we walked a bit. We dragged each other. We pushed each other. Around 12 1/4, I could see the finish. Oh my god, the finish. I was beaten. So worn from the pace we’d kept, the lack of sleep, yet so ready to finish it out. It was right.there.
So, Matt and I started jogging it up – finishing it out – getting the damn thing over. Only, Matt would still pause to walk and I would just continue chugging down the road, feet barely coming off the ground, eyes closed envisioning sleep, controlling my heart beat.
Home stretch, "running" with my eyes closed, trying to get to the finish
- Open Tangent -
I don’t know if I just looked as pathetic as I felt or if it was because my name was on my bib, but I received a lot of encouragement from the cheer teams on my way in. I tried to smile for them. One girl came up to high five me while my eyes were closed, but I didn’t hear here until she was very close. I nearly ran into her. – Close Tangent -
Matt told me he was struggling to catch back up to me each time he walked. I guess for that tiny bit of course, he knew what I felt like. Not in a negative way. Just my turn to drag him. And I did.
We decided to walk before ramping up the last stretch into the finish for our pictures when the 8k group started. Just watching them start a race, knowing that many of them participated in the Mich Ultra Challenge, was inspiring. I searched for my friend, Caitlin, but didn’t see her. As soon as all the runners passed, Matt and I ran into the finish.
Yay!
I wasn’t hungry enough for food, really, but I drank my protein smoothie and posed for my finishing pictures.
He's such a rockstar
Feeling pretty good, actually
I went back down to the finish to look for Caitlin and any other Mich Ultra runner I saw. What BAMFs, seriously. A 5k, 15k, Half Marathon, and 8k in two days? So brutal! Well, I missed her by a hair, but I found her back by the food.
After spending a few minutes there, we all decided to take our broken bodies home. Actually, Matt, Cesar, and I went to get beer but it wasn’t open ’til 11. We decided not to wait the 20 minutes, gave our free beers to a Mich Ultra runner on our walk out. Free beer well spent!
What else?
I splurged on a Publix Italian sub on multigrain bread – definitely didn’t feel guilty after all that exercise. Delicious. Ice bath. Sleep. Then iced knees. I wasn’t nearly as sore as I thought I’d be. Far better off than after the last Half I ran!
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged columbia, endurance, gasparilla distance classic, half-marathon, Running
Back in 2009, DC Rainmaker posted a list of requests to Race Directors. At the risk of being redundant, I had a few things I was hoping our local Race Directors might take to heart.
Packet Pickup Flexibility
Why we need same-day pickup
Personally, I don’t like the added stress of race-day packet pickup, but I can absolutely understand why many athletes prefer it.
Why we need pre-race packet pickup
That said, I don’t think that same-day packet pickup works for everyone.
Expos
Diversity (items and vendors)
Even if you are planning a smaller race, you may be able to develop a decent-sized expo if it’s early enough or late enough in the season. The most successful expos, to me, don’t even necessarily focus on the race at hand.
Many of us will shop for all our gear at the first big expo of the season. We’ll also look for deals at the end of season (this isn’t as easy to execute in Florida.)
We also like expos because it brings all our options to a central location. I can’t speak for every other city, but in an area as large as Tampa Bay, you don’t always get to see what the competition brings.
If they sell the shoes I want at Feet First (St. Pete) or Fit2Run (International Mall), I won’t drive to FitNiche (Somewhere too far north in Tampa for me).
We like competition and redundancy. We get the best prices, options, and advice from multiple sources. Vendor neutrality may not seem that beneficial to you, but it certainly makes us a lot happier. It also sells more booths if you do it right.
Exclusive Deals
That said, I think it’s okay to partner up with a local business, especially for smaller and up-and-coming races. Just be sure you make the right decision if you decide to go exclusive. Either get them to invest, donate, or volunteer or get us the best pricing – pricing we wouldn’t otherwise receive.
The other option is to have them pair up with you for unique events, like Streak the Cove.
Hours
Every expo opens at least a day before the race, but many expos aren’t open on race day and certainly not after. Many of us have limited time to explore an expo before a race. Either we’re working or we’re just getting into town. Most of us are focused on packet pickup and the essentials.
During a race:
- Allows athletes to pick up last-minute items
- Allows spectators to purchase gear
- Allows spectators to purchase gifts
After a race:
- Gives athletes more time to research and purchase new gear
- Gives the athletes time to buy additional commemorative items
- Gives athletes the opportunity to replace broken or lost items
- Gives athletes the opportunity to fill newly-found needs
Goodies
The Shirt
I know it’s not the easiest thing to do, especially for smaller races, but I like a choice in my shirt. We all do. Cotton, technical, singlet, sleeveless, long sleeve – you name it – we all have our preferences. We don’t mind paying you the difference.
If it’s impossible to design and order multiple shirts, try to design something that both men and women will want to wear. Make sure you pick a lightweight fabric if you want us to wear the shirts on runs. Most of us (in Florida) never wear those giant cotton things again. Think of it as an advertising investment.
And make sure you design a cool logo!
No one wears the cartoony or sponsor-plastered shirts anyway. Most of us like the sponsors, but we don’t want them crowding up our accomplishment. If you absolutely need to include some local bad-ass sponsors or a few biggies, stick them on the back, in a neat and organized fashion.
For larger races, involve Nike (or Sports Authority and a screen printer.) Seriously. We love Nike driFIT. We’ll buy it up. For ourselves, our spectators, and our family – especially if it’s a “big deal” type of race.
The medal:
Again, I understand that race size dictates the number of options. But if you’re directing a large race with multiple sub-races, you’ve got two choices: one medal for the entire event or individual medals. We definitely prefer different medals, though. If that’s impossible, never put multiple races on a medal unless you’re listing all races on the medal. (Or a shirt, for that matter! I didn’t want to get ahead of myself.)
My final decision to register for the Gasparilla Half rather than the 15k was based on the fact that the 5k and 15k shared a medal (and shirt). I know it shouldn’t matter, but to me, after running 9.3 miles, I didn’t want to share a medal with those that ran three.
Left: Half Marathon, Center: 5k & 15k, Right: 8k
Food
I think Rainmaker is right. We’ve all had the bagels, pop chips, and granola bars. But there is nothing better than a local food vendor or local food type – something hearty and different. Barbecue, Italian, sub sandwiches, salads, freshbreads – these are all great post race foods and your racers will thank you. It’s also great advertising to your locals.
Things to keep: water, protein bars, protein drinks, Kashi cereals (for tomorrow), and COLD beer.
Race Results
Use electronic timing that uploads to an internet site in real time. There’s no excuse not to, these days. We love it. Our family loves it. You’ll learn to love it.
Post the results at the finish line. At least on paper, in multiple locations, but plasma screens would be outstanding. You could always buy some little plasmas next Black Friday.
Photography
You could probably group this in with goodies or post race, but I think it warrants its own discussion. I agree with Rainmaker and I think this is a huge one for all of us.
Rainmaker said it best, “Look race directors – you choose your photo company. Choose one that the athletes might actually buy photos from… I just don’t understand why they charge as much as they do for the downloads (or any photos). Decrease price, increase volume.”
Ultimately, I know that the photographs aren’t a race director’s responsibility. This a battle that should be fought with the photographers, but here are some things we’d like you to look for:
We want our photos fast
Hire a company that can deliver the digitals quickly. Either lots of photographers or a few with many SD cards, lots of card readers, and a good server.
We want our photos accurate
Hire a company that uses software to identify bibs, plenty of human eyes to examine partials and dim lighting, and plenty of people willing to devote the 48 hours after a race to getting these together.
We want our photos affordable
This take precedence over all else. We will wait days and sort through thousands of lost and founds if it means we can get fairly-priced photos.
Yes, I do know the pain of shooting thousands of athletes in a day. I understand the pressure of framing someone (and their bib) in a shot while they are moving, with plenty of moving visual obstructions. I realize how much time it takes to upload, organize, and label photos – accurately.
But I’ll say this: not many people will spend $60 on their race photos. In fact, I’d be willing to bet that hardly anyone does. We all just screen shot the photos we like – who cares if “proof” or the company logo is watermarked into the photo? Not us. Not you.
(Actually, I bought my Warrior Dash photos because they were good and I’ll buy my Gasparilla photos because Marathon Foto was so diligent. This does not mean I think the prices are fair or that anyone else is going to purchase them.)
Because I’m a woman
Women-focused races are popping up more and more. And though I don’t think we need our own races, I do love fitted tee’s, pink and purple, women-focused goodies.
Nike Women’s Marathon boasts a Godiva chocolate mile, pedicure station, and Tiffany’s finishers’ necklaces handed out by firemen in tuxedos. Women love this race. I loved this race. (Plenty of men still run this race!)
Note: I don’t really have any complaints about the races or the directors in Tampa. I understand that these events take a lot of time and energy to orchestrate. It’s because I think our race directors are good at their jobs that I want them to take these thoughts into consideration. Most of our races encompass some or most of these values. I just believe in repetition for reinforcement!
[We hereby interrupt this weight loss and fitness blog for a blast from topics past]
My friend, Sherry, just posted this video and I had to share. Yes, you do need to go to her blog. Do it, do it! The end is worth the wait!
Sherry was one of my friends lucky enough to snag a journalism job before the recession. (Hey, Economics geeks, is it a “recession?” I’m too lazy to figure it out.) She currently works as a Copy Editor/Page Designer at the Daytona Beach News Journal so I’m sure she’s had this experience, though she does not state whether she agrees with the claims. (Hey, I remember what it was like.) But I can – and man, it’s accurate to a T.
Anyway, I loved the ending. I just wanted to share. Again, yes, you do need to go to her blog. Come ooon.
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